You Have 650 Words. Here's How Most Students Waste Them.
- Lynn Hofstad
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
"I am passionate about...."
"The most challenging thing I have faced..."
"Many things have led to personal growth, but the one that stands out..."
I've read hundreds of college personal statements that start with these words...and they are an example of how NOT to start your essay.
Writing a college personal statement is a daunting task. Essentially it is your shot to show a college admissions committee who you are in story form. As someone who spent years teaching about the power of storytelling in a collegiate setting, you cannot convince me that a resume will ever be more convincing than a well-told story. Storytelling has the power to draw the reader in, to build empathy by putting the reader in your shoes, to convince a reader by telling a compelling story from your perspective. Storytelling can build community, persuade, seed division, and rouse passion. Yet many students throw away the power of storytelling by falling into certain pitfalls.
While each student has their own brainstorming and writing process, resulting in a unique personal statement, there are some common pitfalls everyone should avoid:
Pitfall 1: Restating the Question
The examples at the beginning of the blog all fall into the trap of restating the question prompt. The first sentence of a college personal statement should hook the reader—draw them into the story you are telling. The fastest way to lose a reader's attention is to restate the question (chances are they have already read hundreds of essays that have done that). Instead, start with a hook; show the reader rather than tell them. Throw them into the story rather than explaining what the story will be about.
Pitfall 2: Writing About Someone/Something Other Than Yourself
Too many students spend their essay talking about an important person in their life, but never get to explaining what that says about who the student is as a person. As someone who had amazing teachers, a supportive family, beloved grandparents, and close-knit community, it would have been easy for me to talk about the many amazing people around me in my college personal statement. The problem is that the personal statement is a tool to tell the admissions committee about YOU and why YOU will be an important part of their future community. However, if you spend your whole essay talking about someone else, you might convince them that your amazing grandma would be an great addition to College X, but wasted your opportunity to show why you would be an valuable addition. This is not to say that you shouldn't talk about the phenomenal people in your life...just make sure that at the end of the day, the essay is fundamentally about you, not someone else.
This also holds true for gushing about the college to which you are applying. The college admissions committee knows their college is amazing; they don't need you to convince them it is. What they need is for you to convince them why you will be an important, unique part of the college community. You can love the college to which you are applying, but save it for the supplemental essay that asks "Why College X?"
Pitfall 3: Personal Statement as Narrative Resume
There is a time and a place to list all of your fabulous accomplishments...and that place is the activities section. The personal statement is an opportunity to tell the admissions committee a story; if you use that opportunity to list all of your accomplishments you have wasted that opportunity...because you have already told them all about those accomplishments in your activities section. If you feel like you haven't adequately conveyed all of your many accomplishments, go back and rework your activities list (or include it in the additional information section). However, don't waste your storytelling power by writing the personal statement as a narrative resume.
Pitfall 4: The Generic Personal Statement
If you handed five essays to your friends, would they be able to identify the one written by you? If not, you have probably written a generic personal statement. It might tell a story about you, but doesn't actually demonstrate the amazing uniqueness that is you. Your personal statement should be something no one else can write and something that clearly conveys your uniqueness. You are great/weird/quirky/unique/amazing; make sure it's conveyed in the story you tell.
Pitfall 5: Writing What You Think They Want to Hear
I used to tell my students, the best written essays are usually the ones they care about. By that I mean, writing a good essay is much easier when the subject interests you, compared to tackling a topic that you find dull and are obligated to write about. When it comes to college personal statements, this means you should write on a topic you want to write about. Avoid trying to guess which topic will give you the best chance of admission or which one the admission's committee likes the most. The best personal statement will always be the one that demonstrates who you are and draws the committee into the story.
The best essays I received as a professor often came from students who got to design their own prompt. They were invested in the topic; their writing was more compelling. Before you say, "great in theory, but the common app gives us prompts," consider making a list of topics/stories you want to write about, then go back to the prompts. Often it is not difficult to align a story with a prompt. By starting with the story, you will end up writing a more compelling essay.
Pitfall 6: Writing at the last minute
Students often inform me that they write best when they are under the pressure of a deadline. While that might be the case for some (though it's significantly fewer than claim to be), the personal statement should not be left to the last minute. It should show cohesion with who you have presented in the rest of your application. And most importantly, it should be the result of many, many drafts that have been edited and reworked. This isn't a process that can be left to the last minute, and if it is, it won't be the best essay you are capable of writing.
This is certainly not an exhaustive list of pitfalls to avoid when writing you personal statement, but they are some of the most common. As someone how has read hundreds of college essays (both as an editor and a college application reader), hear me when I say, the most memorable applications the ones with compelling essays. Not just quirky, or differently formatted essays, but essays that tell a story that can't be forgotten or ignored. I guarantee that every student has a story that can draw in an admissions reader.
Not sure where to start? Ask your friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc. what they think makes you, YOU. Often times it will be accompanied by their favorite story/memory about you. It might just be the start of a good essay.
